10 Reasons NOT to visit Edisto Island

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I’m writing this just to help you out.  You do NOT want to vacation on my favorite island and I don’t want you to!  My folks have been going down to the jungle-like paradise since they were teens in the 70’s.  I remember week-long family trysts just to the north, on Isle of Palms or Sullivan’s Island during my earlier childhood, but Edisto has always felt like home…. I mean, if you like this kind of thing which I’m SURE you won’t.

  1. You might have to sink into one of those wicker chairs or flop onto the chaise lounge and actually relax on a porch like this.  I’m not kidding, can you imagine?
  2. “There’s nothing to dooooooo.”  That’s right. No really.  Absolutely nothing except eat, drink and lay out in the sun until you forget all your problems exist.

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3. Instead of those nice, man-made dunes Myrtle Beach as going on, the stretch between the houses and the sand is absolutely covered with (get this) natural vegetation.  I wouldn’t want you to be subjected to that.

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4. The South Edisto Cafe – If you wake up earlier that everyone else in the house (like I always do), you won’t get the pleasure of complaining about the lack of coffee, city boy.  This place has any drink you want, yummy biscuits AND a view.  You can watch the fishing charters leave as you sip your morning-poison.

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5. Impromptu sunset walks with no signs of any other people, traffic, or tourist traps… What a bummer.

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6. You’ll most likely get a sunburn in the first couple days and have to go shop around in the adorable boutiques or my personal favorite, The Edistonian, since you have an excuse to buy a hat and coverup.   Everything will be adorable and reasonably priced.  How dare they.

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7. Kings Farm Market – You’ll pass this one-of-a-kind market on the way in to the island (should you ignore all my well meaning advice and go visit Edisto Island anyway).  The gram-worthy flowers, the fresh produce and lord have mercy, their pies and casseroles will have you spending everything you have in your sandy pockets!  Do NOT stop here, I repeat DO NOT.

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You know your followers couldn’t handle the jealousy.  And the fresh cut bouquets (only 6$) last a full week after you get home, taunting you that you won’t have another vacation this year.

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8. While we’re talking shopping, I’m obligated to let you know about the market that takes place at the marina on Wednesday mornings.  You will weigh your suitcase waaaay down with fresh heirloom tomatoes and handmade soy candles.

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9. You won’t get to drive your car for a while.  You can see everything there is to be seen from one of these plastic disasters.  The marsh, the beach, and the bar are all just down the road, as long as you don’t mind getting there at 15mph.

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I mean, you’ll probably just be enjoying the breathtaking views, but you never know when you’ll be in a hurry.

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10. The beach at Edisto is just, hard to beat.  The sand is so soft, and the sea-smell so pure.  Sure, there are beaches with bluer water, whiter sands, and hotter bods but this one is “mine” and just feels like home.  Don’t even think about making it yours, but if you do, love it like we do!

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